On May 24, 2011, my husband and I became the proud parents of 3 beautiful kids, who entered our home and promptly set about turning our lives upside-down. There is no end to the number of things that I have learned and continue to learn through the process, but here is what I wrote at the one-year mark, May 24, 2012.
52 THINGS I HAVE LEARNED IN 52 WEEKS OF BEING A MOM:
- The Bible is fascinating. There is no book more interesting.
- Sleeping in is highly overrated.
- Kraft Dinner is a food group.
- If you cut wieners just the right way and boil them in water you can make them look like an octopus sitting in someone’s Kraft Dinner.
- Mr. Clean should get a ticket to Heaven for inventing the Magic Eraser.
- Silly Putty is from the Devil.
- Rubbing alcohol will remove Silly Putty that has gone through the dryer in someone’s pocket.
- Children will put anything in their pockets.
- Orange crayons in the dryer are a big sloppy mess of hopelessness. Just learn to like wearing orange.
- I never really knew what yove was before.
- They tell you that when you adopt kids, you can’t expect that love will fix everything. We have learned that when it comes to kids, love can fix anything.
- “If you are good in school you get to use the computer,” works way better than, “If you are bad in school you can’t use the computer.”
- There is something about bread crusts that is extremely repulsive to children which no one has ever been able to define.
- Never serve rice to a 4 year old on the same day that you cleaned the floor.
- Any veggie can be put in a food processor and then hidden in spaghetti sauce.
- Kids will eat fish if you allow them to assume it’s chicken that smells different. Just excuse yourself from the table when asked for specifics.
- If you don’t like the way your 9-year-old daughter is acting, wait 5 minutes.
- You must intentionally put your children in the path of Jesus.
- You must intentionally put your children in the path of other kids who love Jesus.
- Always keep your head up when playing hockey with a 6 year old boy.
- Keep ice packs in the freezer for hockey games.
- The word, “Mom” can be stretched into a 3-syllable word when it is followed by a request.
- Go to every school assembly that allows parents in. Someone will invariably check if you’re there.
- Never underestimate the power of a wave from the audience during a school performance.
- Bring tissues to every performance.
- Children attract other children. Make sure you do a head count on days off from school in case there are extras.
- You can get a lot of free stuff if you have a cute little boy wearing glasses standing next to you.
- When children come into your life, you suddenly become aware of the pervasiveness of peanuts.
- Don’t get embarrassed if other moms see your kid having a tantrum. Usually they are saying to themselves, “Phew, it’s not my kid this time.”
- When you buy new jeans for a little boy, immediately iron patches on the inside of the knees.
- It’s not enough to just pray for your children every day. You must show them how to pray. Jesus taught His kids to pray.
- Milk mixed with kids’ cereal which has been left in a bowl all day is the most powerful adhesive known to man. Just throw out the bowl to save time.
- It would be smart to buy shares in the company that makes Polysporin.
- The person who invented DVD players that go in vans should win the Nobel Peace Prize.
- I sound like my mother when I’m talking to kids.
- My mother was way smarter than I gave her credit for.
- I should have listened when my mother was teaching me to sew.
- When a 4 year old boy says to a 6 year old boy, “I have a good idea…” the phrase is rarely followed by a good idea.
- Children will not implode if you don’t have cable.
- Kids really don’t need to know the difference between a smoothie and a milkshake.
- Silliness and play are a child’s full-time job.
- Love, patience, consistency and follow-through work way better than a whack on the butt.
- It is important to force that scream on the inside to come out as a soft rebuke.
- When purchasing beds for little boys, it is helpful to stand on the headboard and launch yourself off. This is not a test of durability. Rather, it is a test of usefulness.
- If you install a ceiling fan in the bedroom of 2 little boys they will look up and see a mechanism for propulsion.
- Always go check what’s happening if things are quiet.
- Any long object can double as a hockey stick or sword, depending on which weapon is needed at the moment.
- Children attract dirt. Dirt attracts children. “Without oxen a stable stays clean.” Proverbs 14:4
- We must teach children that church is a second home full of love and acceptance, and we must be a part of making church that kind of place.
- It’s important to kiss Daddy in front of the kids, even if it makes them gag and roll their eyes.
- Show your kids that you love Jesus more than them, and that Jesus loves them more than you do.
- It doesn’t matter if your kids look like you. The most important thing is that your kids look like Jesus.
1 thought on “My First 52 Weeks”
This should be the first chapter in your book… 🙂